Uncategorized

Left Behind

Processed with VSCO with hb2 preset

The first time I met you, the moment I said my ‘yes’, I knew I was willing to take a risk – the risk of falling in love, the risk of being left behind, the risk of having my heart broken.

I have always believed that you’re worth the risk.

I am writing this because I can still feel the ache when I saw you slowly moving away… that the familiarity of being left behind still lingers in my whole system… that I still cannot understand why you did that, in the same way that I cannot understand why I can’t leave you like that – why I’d always hold on to you.

I am writing this because ever since you’ve left, I cannot bear being left behind once more. “Please, not again”, I’d always say. And because of that, it has become my ritual to at least leave first, hurt first before they’ll ever have the chance to do that to me, again, like the way you did.

“Please, not again”.

I have always been afraid that what you did to me might happen again. The fear that crept through my spine was beyond control. I can never fathom hearing my own sobs nor feeling my own heart slowly shattering nor seeing someone dear walk away, again.

You’ve never failed to surprise me. It’s just you who’d do something unforgettable like that. And I’ve always hoped that it will only be you who’d do that… because right at this moment, it’s just you who’s worth the risk, it’s just you who’s worth the pain, it’s just you who’s worth the tears.

“Please, not again”. And without hesitation, I left.

Advertisements
Literature, Poems, Uncategorized

24th of May

24th of May, year 2013
You have no idea how clueless I’d been
That that day would mark a scar
To my once unscathed and innocent heart

24th of May
A day I’ll always wish to forget
Bright and sunny turned to rainy
I’d always wish we’ve never met

24th of May
A day that reminds me so much of you
A day that makes all the raging memories roar
A day I’ll remember you, once more

And years from then, here I am
Still waiting for the misery to be gone
Hoping for the hurt to go away
To what happened on that summer day on the 24th of May

Literature, Poems, Uncategorized

How Could It Be

I dreamt of the good old times
And foresaw the possible good days
How futuristic could it be
When in spite the pain in the past
In my tomorrow, it’s still you I want to see

I remembered the small things you’ve done
And reminded myself that there’s nothing grand
But how amazing could it be
That with all your simplicity
I still can’t forget how extraordinary you are to me

I reminisced the words you’ve told me
And how much I wanted to hear your affection
How deafening could it be
That in spite all the silent treatment you gave me
I’d still choose you to sing love songs with me

I can still feel the agony of our sour dates
Filled with wrong choices of oversalted food
But how tasty could it be
That in spite all the bitterness
I’m still longing for that sweetness you’ve had for me

Oh how long will it take
When I think of you in every move I make
How pitiful could I be
As I hope we’re still together
Knowing, everyday, that everything was over

Literature, Poems, Uncategorized

Before I Met You

Before I met you
Life was bland but way simpler
No complexities, just black and white
I should have known better

Before I met you
Life was easier and I was happier
Didn’t need someone to make me smile Guessed I should have known better

Because when I met you
Life started to be filled with colors
There was green, red and laughter
Hoping it was something better

When I met you
T’was no longer just happiness but ecstasy
Excitement and elation felt when we’re together
Back then, I was certain it’s better

Yes, I met you
You add everything, filled every corner
Blasted me with hues of delight, sadness and fright
Will it ever still get better?

I met you
Maybe we’re just meant to stay there
Just an ordinary meeting of strangers
Is it something I can call better?

You came to meet me
Maybe you came to feel something for me
But I met you to realize I’ll just leave you
And I knew that ain’t better for us two

Before I met you
It was never an option to leave someone
Never thought it’s what I’ve done
Don’t know if something better was really gone

Because as I left you
I left my heart with you
You took everything and left me with blues
Was wrong when I thought I was better without you

After I left you
Life has changed somehow
Regrets were felt then, even now
I’ll get better but how?

But I’m never going back to you
Because I left you
I was just meant to cross roads with you
But not journey with you

I left you, I finally met you
Life was bland but never simpler
More complexities, back to black and white Should I have regrets this time?
I should have known better

Literature, Open Letters, Poems, Uncategorized

Missed

You miss her. You still do.
That’s what you told me when I asked you.
She’s not replying to your messages anymore,
Because obviously, she’s really ignoring you.

You miss her. You keep on telling me you do.
Once, we were reminiscing about random things we do.
Yet unfortunately, and as usual, a thought popped.
A memory of her, again, made a lonely version of you.

You miss her. I know you really do.
You keep on talking about her laughter –
How you miss her voice, her touch when you’re together.
But when she left you, she wasn’t even bothered.

You asked me one time, out of self-pity.
“Did she really loved me?”
“If she did, why would she do this to me?”
“Why on earth do the people I love can’t even love me?”

You miss her. You will always do.
I get tired of hearing it, too.
Because you’re also missing out on people and things around you.
My friend, please notice that I’m also here to love you.

Poems, Uncategorized, Visayan/Filipino

Madayaw (A Visayan Poem)

Ako ra isa galakaw-lakaw
Ilalom sa init nga adlaw
Grabeng pagtulo sa singot
Sabay sa daghang tawo nga nagguot

Araw ng Dabaw, lami ilaag
Pwede ra masking asa masaag
Hugyaw diri, hugyaw didto
Dunay kalingawan bisan asa muadto

Mga pagkaong lamian
Mga dalan ug kaagi nga dili malimtan
Mga produktong angay ipasigarbo
Mugna gikan sa mga Dabawenyo

Mga litratong gihawiran
Uban sa seguridad nga nakuptan
Niining siyudad lang makita
Madayaw! Oh Dabaw nga gihigugma

Open Letters, Uncategorized

To the girl who thought she’s not enough… (An Open Letter)

You are enough.

You may be filled with insecurities but all he sees in you are the good things. He loves you because you’re everything he needs and wants for a girl could be. What more could he ask for?

You are strong.

You are way far from being weak. You’ve handled so much stress, so much worry, so much pain. Now is not the time to give him up because…

You are a fighter.

You have been through many struggles, many challenges. You fought so hard for everything you have right now. Why not fight a little harder for him then? Because…

You are a winner.

You have him. And he’s more than just a trophy or a single piece of gold attached to a string that hangs by your neck. He’s a priceless award you can never trade for anything in this world. He’s more than the reward you can have after all your hard work. Because girl,

He cares for you, so much.

Just one word and he’s there as fast as the speed of light, ready to give into your request. Your smile has enlightened his dark world. And he would do everything for you. He can even sacrifice other things that matter just for you. Because…

He is a dreamer.

And he dreams about you. He wants to dream with you. Because just from the very start, you were not just part of a dream. You are the dream.

He’s a fighter, too.

Remember when you almost wanted to give up? He was about to crumble into tiny pieces. No, he was about to disappear into the abyss of the unknown universe. He was losing focus and you were leaving. But no, he’s willing to let go of the important parts of the puzzle right in his grasp, just for you, the bigger, probably the biggest, and most valuable piece. He will never give you up.

Girl, you might be consumed by the world around you or by some wicked fantasies inside you but he’s willing to give you a real-life fairy tale. He’s willing to give you a love story far better than the novels you’ve read nor by the songs you’ve heard. Because girl,

He loves you.

You were as priceless as he was to you. He was weak but he wants to be strong for you. He’s about to lose but he’s willing to battle a war just to have you. And he may have failed sometimes, but he never failed to show his never-ending love for you. Because…

You are beautiful.

He sees your imperfections in the most perfect way possible. He may see other girls everyday but his eyes are just focused on you. Enough of the drama. Both of you have went far enough. You’ve been through enough hardships.

You still love him, right? Because he never stopped loving you, and he will never do. So before you’ll regret it, never let him slip through your grip because you’re not the only fighter, you’re not the only girl who needs a reward and you are not always the winner. And before he gets tired, love him as much as he loves you.

Remember,

You are beautiful. You are important. You are a fighter. You are strong. You are enough. You have him. He has you. You are a winner.